Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein.

A lot of people don’t believe in God. Some do. Some believe there is no God, but do believe that there is something greater than themselves in this world. They cannot quite put their word to what it is, but an abstract entity they can feel sometimes is with them. Some say its like some ether which always surrounds them. Some people think of themselves as gods: they believe that there is nothing in this world greater than them. As they face their last moments in this world: they realize that they have been too late to notice, and they could have lived their lives just a little bit better. And some people dont care about that at all. They leave a legacy or a body of work behind, only to realize that the world does not care: it keeps going on, for most of the world is mediocre, lives a real life, and although it wants to be at the top, does not really get there. For it is the top. And there is only one top. The everest. And that’s why everyone aspires to climb it.

The ones who never manage to reach the everest, forever keep trying, in an utter state of anxiety and insecurity. For there is an illusion of reputation and prestige to be maintained. What will others think of me? As long as there are people more insecure to be bossed upon, he is just fine. Or some men give up entirely, and choose to enter into a slight-less competitive bubble of being they then willingly let form around themselves: they surround themselves with close mutual aquaintances, and lead happy lives. Until, a shock destroys the entire bubble, for eg, passing of a loved one, or something has simple as being fired from a job. Some shocks are temporary: although the bubble is temporarily distorted, time has a way of healing it, and the bubble comes back stronger than before. Some shocks are permanent: no matter what we do, we can’t quite find the healing, or the closure we have been searching for this entire time. And then we try to find it with others who are also quite as lost as we are, but are not strong enough to admit it. More often, they are not even aware of being in that state.

And the rare one who does manage to climb the top of the everest, finds it all lonely. Although he is thrilled from all the exploration, he realizes that he left most of his people behind: even the people who initially inspired him. He finds no thrill in naive things anymore, and there is no more thrill left to seek, for he already climbed the only thrill which was available to him. But, no, the man’s ego does not stop here. Rather than admit the weariness in his bones of his long climb, he keeps reaching out for more thrills. But, he realizes that he cant quite achieve it anymore. And then he falls back into the common men, having achieved only one thing of note in his entire life.

So then what is the man’s true purpose? Surely, then he must bring all the other men to the top with him, be humble enough so that he is happy when someone else runs him over, for he is exhausted of the only long climb he made. Perhaps then he can find the remaining purpose of his life in uplifting men younger than him, and learn from the ones better than him. And when he does indeed become wisest among all, knows it, and has been humbled enough so as to not let his success get to his head, can give all credit away publicly: then he should actually be able to step away, hand the baton over to time, for someone eventually better might come along.

No matter what the belief, i have seen people brought to their knees, at least one time in their whole life. Even if they are the richest men, most beautiful, or most poweful, these things dont last forever, for birth, death, old age and disease are cruel. They force us to bend the knee whether physically or in our heads. If this is the reality of the material nature that we live in, then what gives us the purpose to keep living? What prevents us from being in an everlasting state of fear: that even if things are going good now, they wont turn bad later? Or that if they are bad now, perhaps there is happiness waiting for us all just in the corner, and that all we need is just a little bit of patience before giving up? Sometimes, we feel that the world cares about us, and sometimes we feel that everyone conspires against us. What is the truth? Does the truth even exist at all, or it just is, without any causality and a mere correlation?

What fills the empty holes in our heart: those pangs of loneliness which hit us when we move out of our parents home, lose our partners, and realize that we have a bigger hole left to fill that what we started with? Life is funny: We spend time with our families when we are children, wishing to be more independent and more accomplished. And when we become more accomplished, we realize we have no family left at all: our achievements have become mere papers, and no one left to share with. Money seems to have lost joy: it just becomes a number in the bank account, and no matter where we spend it, we still feel more despaired. We can buy hookups, but not true love.

Surely, then there is some higher source of inspiration, something which more everlasting, something which cannot be a mere product of external validation. Something which we can find inside ourselves, for we came alone in this world, and might also leave it alone. Millions can be stupid but surely billions in the world can’t: they bow over their faith and seek blessings. And they find a purpose to live, something which helps them in the daily grind of their work, something which makes their life just a little bit easier. Muslims pray so many times a day, hindus go to temples, buddhists meditate,

We cannot help ourselves but notice how the mere act of getting on the floor from our chairs, lowering ourselves physically, kindling our egos, helps us feel just a little bit better. Spanning from the lowest earth which is a mere part of the cosmos to the highest level that is the whole cosmos, we can find different ways to pray. For eg,

Consider the lowest level of GLOM. for eg. we get down on the floor, and from all the directions of the cosmos, pray to our god:

Next, we are still on the floor, but see the sun through a window of our homes. That makes us remember that there are still untamed elements better than us in this world.

We step out of our home and are filled by the lightness all around. We feel the warmth of the cosmos in our bones.

We gaze up at the sky and see the cosmos. There are countless stars in the sky. Our parents who passed away, still watch over us.

And then we feel the hands of god upon us. For he holds the very planet we live upon.

These five levels of the part-while hierarchies are the five levels of Geoffrey Everest Hinton’s GLOM. For some reason, i am reminded of my own mortality on this earth. So, let the topic of phd be on mortal machines. And i can finally feel closure in my bones: i am finally ok with no longer seeking public-recognition, and this blog never being read by any other mortal machine on this earth. Let this be crawled by a bot of a search engine, and merge itself forever into the transcendental cosmos. I’m finally at peace.

rajat
a forever-humbled mortal machine.